In defence of: absence

DSC01910So, where the hell have I been since January? Did anybody’s heart grow fonder?

I do have a defence…or a list of excuses at least. I haven’t been off watching re-runs of The Big Bang theory in lieu of a new series (although I admit, I may have googled their flash mob a couple of times).

Here’s what I’ve really been doing: finishing my MA, baking a baby, working for the Lancashire Evening Post…and, yes, neglecting the cleaning.

In the past few weeks, desperate people have been pleading with me to sit down and take the (now substantial) weight off my tiny feet. I’ve been subjected to wide eyes of growing concern and gasps of fear as I waddled around apparently unaware of my own girth. I am a little clumsy at the best of times…and my lack of spacial awareness has served to make some people a little panicky. I can’t think why.

As the days have gone on, I’ve feared that, if I didn’t finally heed their warning, they might stage an intervention and strap me down. So, with two weeks left to go until the birth of my first baby, today’s the day I’m finally able to take a load off and do absolutely nothing. These are the glory days. This is the stuff of monday morning commuter fantasy. And the result? Boredom. Big style.

So, I’m finally getting round to updating my blog and I’m giving it a little style change. All my posts from now on are going to come under the banner ‘In defence of…’ I’m going to be using my blog a little differently – to showcase my columnist credentials and, hopefully, someone will eventually give me Caitlin Moran’s job! If you want to suggest an ‘In defence of…’ topic, please get in touch and I’ll see what I can do! Although don’t ask me to defend platform shoes: they’re beyond the realm of defence. Genuinely.

Watch out for the first ‘In defence of…’ some time in the near future.

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