In defence of…my wardrobe! Day 21

Whistles Dress

Body-Con anyone?

Kate Middleton has this dress. I seem to have a knack for predicting what she’ll wear…and do. My wedding dress was a bit like hers (I got married three weeks before her), we went to Canada on honeymoon – she went with Wills on their first married tour at the same time. She even managed to time Prince George’s arrival just after Little G and, despite being the opposite sex, she managed to choose an almost identical name…and an actually identical nickname. 

I’m not sure what to do with that, really. It’s hardly a skill. And I’m not sure it’s a ringing endorsement for my taste either. At least I can keep the dress for a rainy day…they’re selling on Ebay for twice what I paid.

Today's Outfit

Faking the con

Anyway, I’m pretty sure the Duchess has never worn her size skinny version quite like this. This is my lesson in how to cheapen a fairly pricey Whistles dress. And, I’ll confess, I didn’t actually wear it out. I didn’t dare!

It’s a body-con dress that I bought before the con in this bod was long-gone. Just for your information, that was also long before the Duchess stepped out in it at the 2012 Olympics.

It still looks okay…as long as I don’t turn sideways. In profile, I look like I’ve smuggled the Crown Jewels out of the Tower of London. There’s a tip for yours, Kate!

Dress and Jacket

Covering up a multitude of sins?

In theory, adding this Warehouse midi skirt was supposed to create the illusion of a flat(ter) stomach. Not quite a washboard…more like a wash barrel. But, still, just a little bit more flattering. It’s the kind of thing I’d see a stylist do in a magazine and suck my teeth at them for. Come on, now, who’s going to wear a skirt over a dress? Well…a woman on a mission, that’s who.

The whole ensemble is comfortable and, unless you know, it does look like a skirt and top but it just makes me look…what’s the polite way to say this? Like Jordan at a parents’ evening? I won’t elucidate. You know what I mean.

Topshop Shoes

Topshop skyscrapers

It’s the shoes. I tried to resurrect these ancient Topshop heels from the never-never-worn pile. Their soles aren’t even scratched but, after this, they’re destined for the charity sack in the sky. If you’re a size 3 (yes, really, a size 3), and you can walk a straight line in seven inches, give me a yell! Come to think of it, perhaps my Mum is the only woman on Earth who fits that bill…

Accessories were obvious…it had to be the K-Mid H-Sam specials. Not the Crown jewels…but genuine bling.

Sapphire and Diamond Earrings

Now, these, I actually wore!

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